A post from a member of a New Earth group I was just invited to prompted me to transcribe this beautiful prayer and add a Cosmic Code to it. Thank you Ruth and Rowena ❤ While I was showering I was guided that it is a good time to share my own very personal journey of healing and how it has shaped who I BE.
We have a “new” Big C, a fear mongering word that seems to be everywhere on social media. A viral attack on my physical and etheric body back in the mid 80s set the foundation on which I built an unquenchable faith in the power of the Divine within me to heal, restore and completely transmute any such onslaught. This faith has been my gift of healing to many. It's a long story which I will try to encapsulate as best I can.
At the time I had a highly driven, pressurised career in IT sales. I was working long hours, bringing work home, seeing to the need of my children and husband, then sitting sometimes until midnight putting proposals together. You could say I was in burn out. One night we had an incident that caused some friction, with a blow up between hubby and I. I became angry, and believed I opened a door to my weakened immune system. I went to the lounge, made myself a coffee and lit a cigarette!! Yes I smoked in those days! A lot!!! The next minute I started an uncontrollable shaking, my heart was racing, my breathing became shallow and fast. I got such a fright, thinking I was having a heart attack. Weird, as I was only 32 and otherwise in perfect health?! “Something” spoke to me. I killed the cigarette, declaring that I would never light another (which I haven't) and I went outside, gasping for air and trying to calm myself down. After about 15 minutes, I felt a little better and went back to bed.
The next morning I was as weak as a lamb. Despite this I still went to the appointments that I had with clients, but collapsed into bed as soon as I got home. That started a year long journey into what I now describe as my Dark Night of the Soul, my Shamanic Death. In the first days I would have a sensation of iced water moving up my spine, coming into my head and once there I would start to shake again. I could do little more than sleep and go to the bathroom. I am eternally grateful to my husband who took over the care of the children whilst I was bed-ridden for 4 months. I had to give up my well paid job, which placed financial pressure on us. I went from one doctor to another trying to establish what was wrong with me. There were many tests and no answers. I had, just a few months before this, had a Spiritual Emergence where I personally met my Creator and surrendered my heart to Yeshuah the Christ. It was this reconnection to my Divine Source that carried me through, that gave me the strength and fortitude to withstand the diagnosis of a specialist, who, completely ignoring me as if I wasn't even in his rooms, told my husband that I needed to be admitted to a mental hospital. As weak as I was, I stood on my hind legs and roared like a lioness “There is nothing wrong with my mind and you will not send me to such a place”.
Frustrated with not knowing what was going on and having practically no outside support (remember this is pre internet, pre Facebook groups that share their stories, pre Google, so very little resources to get to the bottom of it all. Even more so in a country isolated from the world platform), I tried to find my own answers. Every day or 2, I would get that ice up my spine, feel the shakes coming on and know that this was going to knock me flat again. It was so debilitating and frustrating, especially for this driven character. I went back to our family doctor once again. Spirit has a very beautiful way of guiding us, this I know without doubt. In his waiting room was a Reader’s Digest magazine. In it an article “50 Signs You May Have Yuppie Flu”. I could tick off at 15 of the signs which was enough to explore this further. I showed it to my doctor and he sent me to the Virology Institute for some tests. They came back positive for Epstein-Barr and Coxaki, 2 viruses identified in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, aka Yuppie Flu. At last, something we could work with and the road to recovery started. I received high doses of Co-Enzyme Q10, adapted my diet slightly and upped the vitamins and minerals. After some months I was at last able to drive short distances. I was still very weak and would take 2 hours to shower in preparation for my children coming home from school so that I could spend some quality time with them before going back to bed. It was an extremely challenging time for me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But it taught me to dig even deeper, to trust in a Power I did not fully understand and to surrender.
My spiritual life was in high gear and I did whatever I was led to do by Spirit, which included praying over myself, reading the Word and declaring that no virus or any other “thing” would take away my health and my future. I was raised a Christian but was not a church goer at the time. My spirit was opening up to something far greater and more powerful that I had ever experienced and it was giving me strength. I had been hearing the Still Quiet Voice within, guiding me to passages in the Bible that gave me hope and joy. This was a very new relationship and so different to the one many of us experience in religious teachings. I chose to listen to that Voice. It is the One that has sustained and guided me since. That Voice told me to go to a large Charismatic Church. It was a Friday morning and I was like “Why??!!” But I went, feeling quite weak but able to drive myself there. There was a long flight of steps to the reception and I had to take it so slowly, running out of breath from too much exertion. But I soldiered on. At the reception I enquired about activities or if there was someone I could speak to, saying I was there but not sure why. No coincidence that there was a prayer meeting specifically for healing, starting in about 30 minutes. I made my way there, into a room with about 20 others. I can remember thinking “I am not sure what I am doing here, but here I am!” The pastor explained what it was all about, asked that each of us give our name and why we were there and then the team went to each person, anointed them with oil and prayed over them for healing. I didn't hear angels singing from Heaven's Gates, nor saw flashes of lightning. But I did feel an indescribable Love and Peace come over me, and as I consciously accepted that Love, I knew that I was healed. I walked out of there, somewhat stunned, with a tad of disbelief, but a new person.
It took a while for the physical symptoms to clear completely. I would still get the icy cold spine thing, but would address it directly and speak my healing to it. Slowly the symptoms subsided and after about 14 months of this "death" I was able to return to the life I had known prior to that night. I was certainly a changed person. The many doctors I had seen had all given me a dismal prognosis. That I had this viral infection, it was in my blood and would be with me forever, that I would be a semi invalid for the remainder of my life. That was NOT a sentence I wished to accept, a sceptre over my head that I CHOSE to rebuke and declare it powerless and ineffectual. I have had an incredibly full and amazing life and my heart overflows with Gratitude, for the journey, for the trials and tribulations , for the way I have been forged in the Fire of Life.
This experience was the start of my True Return to Self. It taught (and still teaches me) many amazing things. I know that I AM a Spark of the Divine. I know that there is incredible power in our spoken word and thought. I know that even in our darkest hour, when it seems as though you cannot carry on, you do ~ to what is not always so clearly defined though!! As I have grown spiritually over these past 30 odd years, I have come to have a slightly different perspective on what this experience was for me. Was it a Kundalini Awakening? Most likely. Was it a spiritual attack? No doubt! Was it “just” a viral attack? Definitely not, it was the catalyst for the opening of my Spirit. It taught me that viruses and pathogens are not from Source (I am still open to debate on this!!) and that they have no place in my body, but we can chose for them to hang around and make us weak. I see the patterns of fear mongering as TPTW (the powers that were, aka the illuminati/cabal) continue to use such extreme measure to instil fear in the general population, a fear off which they feed themselves energy. There have been, virtually annually, similar apocalyptic scenarios in which we are all going to die for more than 20 years. But those who have eyes to see and ears to hear know their tactics. We stand firm!
Much of what I have shared may make sense to the reader. Perhaps even more will find my words completely wild and not see any sense in them. But that is OK! There is only the Great Perfection!
I am into the 5th day of being knocked man down from a virus. I have not felt this ill in many years and it is challenging to me to protect those around me and not pass it on. I am sure it's just a bad strain of flu, foreign to me as I am in a country far from home where my immunity has been built up, a new virus to beat! I don't easily get sick with colds and flu and I fight it the same as I fought the yuppie flu in 1987. But there is so much talk of the Big C. I choose to not entertain it. And yet I must ask myself, why am I here in the northern hemisphere at this time. The country through which my return flight transits, is in lockdown. Will that change in 5 weeks? Will The Netherlands where I currently am also go into lockdown?? Who knows. I always look to the Higher Perspective. Do I have a role to play in something bigger that we cannot even begin to conceive of? I KNOW and trust the Great Perfection, so there is purpose in it all. I choose the Higher Spiral of Light. I choose to surrender to the Divine Will, whatever form it may take in this moment.
I am grateful for this beautiful prayer, the opportunity to share my story which may just bring a key that someone else needs. I am grateful that my beautiful, inimitable I AM Presence overcomes all adversity. If you have read my story this far, THANK YOU!!! You were meant to, may the words and the Code bless you.
Much Love & Gratitude,